What Am I?

In these blog posts, I’ve been writing about who Jesus is: Life, Way, Truth, Good Shepherd, Door, Bread of Life, Light of the World, Savior, LORD. But who am I? What am I? What gives me the right to teach about Him?

My writing coach gave a speech about self-doubt to a group of writers. Then she sent the transcript to me for my enlightenment. As I began reading, my mind filled with questions:

• Am I plagued by self-doubt? Is that what my major problem is?
• Is self-doubt the reason I don’t submit more manuscripts for publication?
• Or is it fear—Fear of rejection?
• Is there a difference?
• Dare I step forward and take a risk in not only writing but doing what it takes to market my work?

I formerly thought that “ugly voice in the mind that questions everything I do”—that tells me I’m not good enough was the devil. Is that a copout, an excuse for not doing what God has called me to do? If God has called me to be a writer, (i.e. one of His Spokesmen), as I believed for so many years, then why wouldn’t he “supply every need of [mine] according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19)?

• I know God’s grace is sufficient for me (see 2 Corinthians 12:9).
• I believe God promised to guide me continually (see Isaiah 58:11 RSV).
• I am encouraged by this verse: “Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

“Why do you write?” my coach asks.

My heartfelt answer is: “I write to glorify God by sharing the good news of God’s grace.”

Saying “Your words matter,” she encourages me by her words and by her example.

She ended her speech by saying, “So keep writing, no matter what your self-doubt says.”

Going back to my earlier questions: Who am I? What am I? What gives me the right to teach about Him?

I am a redeemed and adopted child of God who is also the Father of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I am a Christian writer and student of the scriptures. His Word and his Holy Spirit live in my heart and guide and direct me. What he has called me to do, I will do.

Judith Vander Wege, September 23, 2023